Humor

How My Husband Won the Battle of the Crocs

I’m sure gonna miss those shoes!

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

As a remarried widow, I try very hard to avoid comparing my current husband to my late husband. I love them both in many different ways. They don’t have a lot in common besides me, but they share a hatred of Crocs. Not the reptiles, the shoes!

My mom loves Crocs. She has many different pairs, and some of them match outfits. I used to laugh at them and say I would never wear them. Then she asked for lined Crocs for her birthday.

As we drove to my sister’s house to celebrate, my nine-year-old daughter, Camille, asked a question.

“Mom, you know how everyone in dad’s family is still married, and your the only one in yours that is?” said Camille.

“Yes,” I replied.

Camille continued, “It’s kind of like a loose tooth when it’s just hanging by a thread, ready to fall out.”

“What? Are you talking about dad and me? We’re not getting a divorce!” I replied.

Patrick and I laughed about it as we retold the conversation to my mom and siblings.

Later my mom opened her gifts and was excited to get the lined Crocs. She encouraged me to try them on. My feet are a size larger than hers. I still managed to slip them on and remark about their warmth and comfort.

As I was modeling them, Patrick loudly exclaimed, “I think I have a loose tooth!”

Despite Patrick’s objections, I got lined Crocs too. Our house had aggregate in the entry and kitchen, and it was uncomfortable to walk around barefoot. I wore the Crocs as slippers. I appreciated their versatility and the fact that I could wear them outside as well.

Patrick mainly was okay with the Crocs since I rarely wore them outside the house. I always took them to wear home after cycling. I didn’t care how they looked, and they were warm and comfortable!

I met Bruce two years after Patrick died. I think I told Bruce the Crocs story before he ever saw my Crocs. He made it clear from the beginning that he wasn’t a fan of the Crocs.

I tried not to wear my Crocs as often. I left one pair at the beach house. When we moved into our new home, we had carpet and laminate floors, so it was more comfortable going barefoot. When it got a little colder out, I bought another pair of slippers and wore those.

Eventually, my new slippers got worn and a little stinky, so I switched back to my Crocs. Bruce was not amused. The Crocs became a running joke in the house.

The new house is more airtight than any other place I’ve lived. The air is dry, and this has created some problems. After working from home the last year, my skin has become very dry. And there is a lot of static electricity.

I’ve thought about getting a humidifier. I’ve purchased hydrating products for my skin. And my husband told me my Crocs were causing me to shock him. I laughed at that.

Suddenly I noticed that I got shocked or shocked him multiple times each day. You might think that a little static electricity would add a nice spark to a kiss. You would be wrong.

One day when he was working out of town, I decided to test his theory. I left my Crocs off. Guess what? No shock!

Bruce is an engineer. He explained that the Crocs' rubber soles grounded me and prevented the electricity from escaping until I touched something or someone else.

I’m now in the market for new slippers. And Bruce? He walks around with a smirk on his face. Victory is his!

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Widow, Mother, Wife, Associate Professional Clinical Counselor. Recovering Republican trying to find my way. https://www.danellt9.com/. Danellt9@gmail.com

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