Racism

My Bias Was “Hidden” In Plain Sight

Facing a harsh truth

Bias | credit: Alena Butor | iStock (under license)

I recently reconnected with a former co-worker I’ll call Sandra. I found her when she commented on a political thread I was following. I sent her a friend request, and she commented she was surprised to see me on the democratic side of the political spectrum.

We didn’t have a lot of interaction until I invited Sandra to follow my writer’s page for my blog, My Life After Patrick, on Facebook. This blog is about navigating life after the death of my husband, Patrick. Sandra commented that she remembered his death and how she felt sorry for me. Her next sentence shocked me. “ I remember how I always felt around you like I wasn’t good enough because I was Mexican,” she said.

Her words were shocking and brutal for me to hear. As hard as it was, it was even more problematic when she added that many fellow minority coworkers felt I thought I was superior to them because of my education and status.

I’m not racist because…

My initial thought was they should have known I wasn’t racist because I had minority friends. I resisted the temptation to say this because having minority friends does not mean I am not racist. Not feeling I am racist also does not prove I am not a racist!